I can't remember a time growing up or into adulthood when I wasn't extremely overweight.  I do remember: visits to doctors and nutritionists as a child...opening the lunch mom had packed with half a sandwich, carrot sticks and an apple, then trying to  scam up enough change to buy a hot lunch at school...dreading "school clothes" shopping trips knowing there was a good possibility I'd end up in the boys "Husky" department.  When I reached my teens, I began the cycle that would continue well into my thirties: losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight... Atkins, Weight Watchers, Optifast, the Cabbage Soup Diet (uh huh)...swimming, walking, Tae Bo, biking, Curves and on and on.  A few months "on task",  some success, then back to my old habits and ultimately heavier every cycle.  I weighed 230 lbs when I graduated from high school and bounced between that weight and about 270 (it honestly could have been more at times) throughout my twenties and thirties. 

Other  issues related to my weight included 2 herniated disks in my lower back - simple movements like putting on a pair of pants could put me flat on my back for a few days,  high blood pressure (I was put on meds at the age of 29), high cholesterol, and an old injury to my left knee which had resulted in an ACL reconstruction that gave me trouble.  Literally twenty five-plus years of treating my body terribly and beating myself up emotionally for not having the willpower, or strength, or desire to get myself to a "healthy weight".  Looking back it is hard to believe I treated myself so poorly.  I was great at taking care of everyone else in my life, but doing a miserable job taking care of myself.

Late in 2004, two friends told me about the kettlebell training they were doing with a man named Ron Morris. The way they explained it, it sounded extremely torturous and I couldn't for the life of me understand what the heck it was he was putting them through.  Although I saw dramatic changes in them both, I had not yet made my choice to create real change in my life.  That came a few months later:  I woke up one morning in early February 2005, rolled my 270-plus pound frame over in bed (which took some real effort), put my feet on the floor, stood up, and felt every bone in each of my feet scream out in excruciating pain.  I'd felt discomfort in my knees, back, and feet before, but this was over the top.  I remember thinking "This is bull#!&%!  I am NOT supposed to be like this!"  That was the beginning.  I was 38 years old and ready to start really living my life.

I started on my own (again), doing what I had done in the past -- cutting calories, making healthy choices (or what I thought were healthy), exercising more...I was making some progress, but realized quickly that this time I needed to allow myself to ask for help.  I knew I needed it if I was going to make lasting changes in my lifestyle.  This time I refused to let myself slip back and start the cycle again.  Enter the guy I had heard about a few months before.  Ron was doing a seminar on March 1st and I had been invited to attend by those two friends.  This time, I took them up on it.

Ron had big muscles, lots of tattoos, and a sense of humor that is, well, let's just say unique.  To be honest, I was a little bit frightened.  He also had this thing called a kettlebell, made us do push-ups, and talked about "eating clean".  I quickly understood he did not mean washing your hands with soap before you eat your Big Mac. I must admit that at first I was not too keen on the kettlebell or the push-ups. It was hard, and I was embarrassed of my size and my inability to "do".  What I thought sounded like torture when explained in words, to me felt just like the real thing in 90 seconds flat.  But I felt in that room something  I KNEW without a doubt was going to help me get what I wanted, and  I went to Ron’s class the very next day, and the day after that, and the day after that... 

The rest, as they say, is history - or history in the making rather.  I feel fit, am free of medications, have healthy  blood pressure and cholesterol numbers, and my back and knee are strong and pain free.  My journey began that day on March 1st 2005, but by no means has it come to an end.  Have I hit roadblocks along the way?  Yep - both physical and emotional.  Will there be more?  Absolutely - but this is the beauty of living a life that is not stagnant - learning and growing as you discover what is in your way, moving through it, and coming out on the other side.

I felt strongly about becoming an instructor because I wanted to share what I am learning about myself and what it feels like to pursue true fitness - real strength and endurance not only in body, but in mind and spirit as well.   I want my students to have the opportunity to find what I am finding: a happy existence, a calm uncluttered mind, and a body that does what you want it to do - whether that is climbing a mountain, taking a nice long bike ride just for fun, or bending over to pick up your grandchild.

I am reminded every day of where I was, and where I am going.  The reminder comes each morning when I hop out of bed without pain or effort, and can't wait to experience what the day brings.

-Barbara